fudgeling

umm wtf?!

Mon, 26 Oct 2009 10:38:05 GMT

umm sooo i feel really stupid saying this... but i think i was attackted or something by a spirit or demon or being or something tonight. god, that sounds fucking stupid and crazy but whatever!

so i was in bed. i was dreaming about being on BART or something stupid and pointless. and i start to feel this pressure in my mouth in the real world. it was like an energy trying to open my mouth or something. it felt like magnets forcing away from each other when you're trying to hold them together. and my head started to feel funny or something like a hangover. not the headache part of a hang over but like the weird sluggish heaviness feeling you get in your head.

so i opened my eyes, and i was just lying in bed. it was dark but everything was normal and i wasnt scared yet just a bit confused and annoyed and i look over towards my desk but there's something blocking my view. i thought it was the bedspread in a bunch or something so i tried to push it out of the way, but my hand went through it. and i was confused and thought it was a shadow of maybe my computer chair or something and i was seeing it wrong because it was dark and my eyes were still tired. but it wasn't right. it wasnt a shadow on the wall it was a free floating shadow and thats just not right. so i wen to brush it away with my hand again and my hand went through it and i could kinda see my hand on the other side. and i was just sooo confused because i figured i was just tired and there was a logical explanation for it that i just couldnt think of because i was too tired. then i noticed features on it. i cant say what they were, they weren't defined. i can't remember, i just really cant say.

and then i KNEW something was not right. and then i felt a very slight pressure on my leg and i started to be dragged off my bed. at this point i was freaking the fuck out but i couldn't scream. and not the dream can't scream where you are screaming but no sound is coming out. i was just too shocked. i think i whimmperd or something. and i remember thinking to myself: 'this is NOT a dream! holy shit! this is actually happening!!!' i just couldn't fucking believe it. I COULD NOT FUCKING BELIEVE IT! and then i thought 'im officially a believer!' it was this really weird moment of clarity where everything you were skeptical about just goes away. and i was totally a skeptic about paranormal shit, even though i thought that it was cool, i was still like 'i'll beleive it when i see it...' and in that moment i fucking saw it and ALL doubt was erased from my mind. ALL.

and then it put its face close to mine again and started talking to me. it wasn't english. i dont know what it was. it was a fast language. and the voice wasnt a deep voice but it wasnt child like or particularly femanine either. and though i have NO IDEA what it was saying, i got the feeling it was either chanting or cooing me. like telling to call down and let it inside. like coaxing me or trying to trick me or not wanting me to be awake. i dunno. this is just the feeling i got from the way it was talking. and then i felt that feeling in my mouth again and the feeling in my head again and it was also in my torso and stuff. i felt slightly paralized and like it was trying to enter my body. and thats when i stopped being too scared to do anything.

i couldn't actually speak because of that weird feeling in my mouth. so i started screaming in my head everything i ever heard you are suppose to say to something like that. " NO! GET THE FUCK OUT! GET THE FUCK OFF OF ME! GET OUT OF MY HOUSE! YOU ARE NOT WELCOME HERE! GET OUT!" and something about jesus like 'the lord jesus commands you to get out' or something my mom always use to say when shes pretending like i was possesed because i was being bad. and i am soo not religous. but i was desperate and scared. and i was starting to feel like i can't stop this thing its too strong and i feel really drained.

and then it just stopped. and it was not like i woke up. like when you wake up from a nightmare. i swear i was awake i did not open my eyes because they were already open. i was not dreaming. and i was terrified it would come back or something. so i started screaming for my dad. i think i yelled like three times, because i was still paralized with fear. and when he didnt come running in i vaulted over the base board of my bed and into his room. and had to shake him awake. i told him i had had a really bad nightmare and needed to stay in his room. i was feeling really stupid. i haven't run into my dads room because i was terrified ever. EVER!! and i've had really fucking bad nightmares before. really fucking real nightmares before. but this was different. not once did i think i was dreaming. until i started to feel stupid because, its just not possible. Its not!! but everything besides that fact and the fact that i sound crazy, is telling me it really happened.

it pulled me from the knees dragging my torso. and my legs were in the air not on the ground and my butt was starting to slide off of the bed too

i've NEVER seen my pillow indented like that. its not that kind of pillow. and ive never seen my sheets rinkled in a way where the movement of my body was this clearly defined. and i did not get out of the bed that way. i jumped over the end of it.

im starting to feel like it just had to be a dream because its just not possible. and i feel really stupid. i may delete this entry later due to embarassment

DOMO!!

Tue, 06 Oct 2009 23:55:25 GMT

right now the 7/11 by my house is:
Halloween Domo-kun themed!!!
seriously ,
i could only be happier if it was rilakkuma themed
or had been turned into an authentic japanese family mart!
I can't wait to go back in the morning
and get my coffee in a domo cup! hehe!
<3

i went to the dermatologist today
and he gave me some stuff for my acne
my room really needs cleaning, and my feet smell
;_____;
but right now im happy!

I <3 MAGIBON

Wed, 23 Sep 2009 02:15:00 GMT

here
its a youtube playlist of all her vids
even the early deleted ones
I wish i had one of all the videos of her... :/
alex and I are thinking about starting
a cute youtube cooking show!<3
p.s. why does everyone hate me??

FOOOOOOD!

Sat, 12 Sep 2009 02:57:34 GMT

outside i look calm...
but inside im screaming...
FOOOOOOOOD!

I have bed bugs!!!!

Mon, 07 Sep 2009 19:09:40 GMT

i've been looking like shit lately.
my face is completely broken out,
and im still covered in bites.
I need to go see a dermatologist. buuh.
we're having a family BBQ today for the holiday.
dads cleaning up the yard right now.
im feeling awfully tired and like shit.
I hope this passed soon.

I really love Moyoco Anno.
and shes come out with a new set of limited
edition cleansing oils with Shu Uemura.
Tokyo Kamon Girls

more info
i want them real bad!
but i'll never be able to afford them.
Apparently there was a free sample with
August edition of VOCE, that also came with
a free Tokyo Kamon Girls bento scarf

Im super upset i missed it.
;_____;

Speaking of Moyoco Anno
here's another good drama you should watch:
Hataraki Man

Its based on her manga of the same name.
Also it stars Kanno Miho who was also in
the movie Sakuran, also based on one of her mangas.
anyhoo, you should give them a watch!

things you should watch!

Mon, 07 Sep 2009 01:25:34 GMT

I recently watched these:
Antique Bakery (the movie)
Its really cute and has a fair
amount of man love in it! hehe!

Also lots of cute cakes!

and Joo Ji Hoon!<3

I'm also almost done watching this:
Queen of Housewives

its really good and has Lee Hye Young in it
Who I LOVE!!! shes also in
Dal Ja's Spring
they're all really good and you should watch them!!!
P.s. sorry to post so much today!

buuuu

Mon, 07 Sep 2009 01:02:56 GMT

I have nooo money
BAAWWWWW!
;________;
But my mom took me to get my
nails done! I couldn't get
a very clear pic of them but
they have strawberries on them!!

Alex sent me this cute hand
decorated letter!

The back of it:
whats inside is a secret
ohohohoho! shhhhh

Nisha sent me a package too!
One of the things inside it
was this cute mini mushroom
desk set!!

I stole these ice cream bubbles
from a 2 year olds birthday party...

They smell like mint chip @__@

What I wore to school on friday

I can feel Fall coming!!

YAY!<3
p.s. school sucks!

fuck

Sat, 22 Aug 2009 03:15:39 GMT

my computer does not work.
i haven't turned it on in a while.
facebook will not load at all on it.
bottoms of pages do not load. nothing works.
its loud and slow as shit.
i may get another one. money is very tight.
water was cut off, but now its back on.
who knows. i started school.
and i have to bomb my room because im covered in scars from bug bites.
COVERED.
and im very fat now. wtf?
i try to read peoples journals when i have access to a working computer,
and am not frantically trying to do homework on it.
just a quick update. to prove im not dead.
sorry, guys!

yay for breakfast!

Tue, 30 Jun 2009 18:23:55 GMT

waaaaiiiiiiii!

the sausage is apricot ginger!<3

;_____;

Mon, 29 Jun 2009 00:14:54 GMT

im having a horrible day.

Wed, 03 Jun 2009 20:12:56 GMT

errr yeah... ive got $16 in my wallet and im $48.73 overdraft in the bank. HAHAHAHAAHA! shit.

Day Two of a REALLY BAD Hangover

Mon, 11 May 2009 17:15:01 GMT

finally gave up on trying to fix it and just had another beer.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
There are lots of dragonflies in my backyard and it makes it feel like summer. I want to learn to play the drums and start a summer garage band!

buuuuhh

Sat, 09 May 2009 23:40:30 GMT

Alex and Will came over yesterday, and worked on fixing my computer. Then we watched 'Kamikaze Girls'. I think its faster now. I don't really know. I don't understand computers.

http://bunnymuffin.deviantart.com
yep.

guuuuuuuuuu

Fri, 08 May 2009 19:35:19 GMT

I'm working on a new pic for CF. Bahh.. Deviantart is so different now. Like there's all these pointless pictures and strait up porn being submitted. Like twice in the past two days I've gone to the main page and there's been a picture of someones dick, no manipulating or lighting or backdrop or anything interesting.. Someone just looked down and took a picture of their dick and uploaded it, under 'erotic photography' or some shit... Wtf?! And then there was just a close up of a vagina not artistic in anyway. Just a close up of a vagina... I mean if they were under stock photos or something then maybe... I just don't know. It's soooo different now. I think there's like 10,000 more people on it now then there use to be. And none of them are actually making art, there just using it as a place to upload their photos. Like you use to be able to browse and find like one decent thing per page. But now its just shit. Like I don't even think its an art site anymore wtf... Like you have to be on the in, with the greats. The good artists. And you have to find all your favorites through their favorites and their friends. And that's where I want cf to be. In that circle. I don't know if I'm making any sense. I know I only have ms paint to work with right now. But I don't want CF to fall by the side with the rest of the shit that makes you think 'wtf is this even doing here?' I have a loooong way to go.

fuck fuck fuck FUUUUUUCKKK!!!

Thu, 07 May 2009 23:57:06 GMT

unshitty versions can be found here:
http://bunnymuffin.deviantart.com

1. domi. her tattoo looks soooooooooooooooooo bad in this. but i tried. um yeah the background makes no sense either. I was listening to Love Story by Taylor Swift when I did it so that's why.

2. alex as kiki. ummm yeah Im not happy at all with the background but i guess its better than just leaving it blank. ummmm yeahhh. the background is too creepy to really match the kiki theme but i was listening to Spiderwebs by No Doubt when i started so i added some in...

yeah they're both completely done in ms paint and really small, almost pixel art...

oo ms paint...

Thu, 07 May 2009 01:35:53 GMT

I want to make art to show the world. But I don't have a scanner. And I'm 90% sure my computer would explode if I opened PS7. Sooo, I gave this a try.

audrey. curry. sky.

I don't understand why its lost image quality considering it had none in the first place.
Bahhh!

bahhh

Wed, 06 May 2009 19:00:01 GMT

we did some things. then i was really sick for two weeks. and haven't seen anyone since.

my greatest desire is to be an attractive, functioning member of society. And I'm not sure how to go about that. I need to clean my house. I live like a crazy person. I need to take control of my hair. I need to LEAVE THE HOUSE. I need like a routine or something. A job. Having a job makes you part of society. I need to learn how to drive. I can't believe I still can't do that. I'm afraid of driving. And I need to not be. I don't know how to go about getting a job. And my parents won't help me. I've asked them repeatedly. Also I have extreme anxiety about everything. That's probably the main reason I'm not functioning normally, or developing normally or whatever. hmmmm...
lonely

because i've been poked

Mon, 04 May 2009 00:53:28 GMT

I've been feeling really tired an unmotivated lately. I don't know if the flu really took it out of me or what. Actually its not that big of a difference from how i usually feel. I told my dad I'm failing out. I haven't told my mom yet but I bet she can guess. Bleerrghhh! I feel really bad about it. But I don't know how to go about fixing it. I don't go to school anymore. Which I think is really bad for me. Not going to school pretty much means not leaving the house ever. And I do even less at home than I use to. I hardly watch t.v. or go online. I just sleep all day. Which is very unusual for me. A bit worrying. And I don't really want to leave the house. Like the idea of it makes me feel overwhelmed and exasperated. I've been avoiding calls etc... I don't know whats wrong with me. I never know whats wrong with me. Alice suspects gluten. Heh. It could be, but if it is I really don't care. I can't stand people who are 'allergic' to gluten. I think it mainly just comes from being allowed to be this way. No one is stopping me. Or forcing me to do anything. If I did things, I wouldn't feel this way.

My mom forced me to go get my nails done. I spent all Saturday with her. I felt kidnapped. We went to MAC to get her some foundation. It took FOREVER. She insisted on only letting the only black lady there help her, even though there were like 3 other free people trying to help her. The black lady was doing some girls prom makeup and making her look like a drag queen which took like an hour. It was ridiculous. I can't stand shopping with my mother. As a customer shes just so... Difficult? Abrasive? Rude? I dunno. But it bugs the hell out of me. That's pretty much how she is in all aspects of life...

I've been seriously thinking about changing up my style for a while now. I took my extensions out. I just feel like a hobo. I feel like I don't own any clothes. Which just isn't true. I own a shit ton of clothes. But i don't wear 95% of them, and don't plan to. I need to just throw them all out. But for some reason that's hard for me. They're all old and don't fit right or look good. They need to go. I now seriously only own one pair of pants that I wear. And I don't really like them. The other pair that I like have completely ripped apart at the crotch and aren't wearable anymore. All of my panties are stained.. I know that sounds gross but its not what you think. I just always seem to randomly start spotting ALL THE TIME. I don't know why. I think the even bigger question is why I don't wear pantie liners constantly. So in the end I guess it is gross and it is my fault. But the problem is that I own 0 unstained underwear. Which is NOT okay. Not that anyone sees them EVER. But its still embarrassing. I'm trying to only wear matching bra and underwear. That's not working out either. Im also having a problem keeping my pubes groomed. Its a NIGHTMARE. If I shave or pluck them i get so many ingrown hairs it looks like I've got a disease or something. And there's lots of scaring. But there's just so much of it I can't let it be. I don't know what to do... -________- bleerrrrg!

So basically there's nothing new or interesting going on in my world. My room is sooooooooooooooooooooooooo dirty. Its not okay. I think I really need to invest in a mini vac. My grandma has our real vacuum right now. But I think a mini one would be better anyway since we don't have carpet.
I also want to get my hair cut. But I don't know how. And I have to perm it first blah blah blah!

errrrr... So I think I'm gunna go buy a bunch of pants at Urban Outfitters. That's all I really meant to say here. Maybe go to Ross and try to find a bunch of matching pantie sets for cheap. Oh and I want a pair of sexy sandal heels or something to go with my new red toe nails. That's all.
snapshot of my filth room:

because alex told me to

Fri, 17 Apr 2009 01:09:56 GMT

i watched 'Atonement' the other day. it wasn't that good, but it made me wish i was pretty. i think im really ugly and i dont know how to fix it. but if i were a guy, i wouldn't date me either... now I'm drinking beer and watching nodame! waiting for will to be done with school so we can all go hottubbing !!!!!!!!!
also this:

and this:

Three.Dads.One.Mom.tap8 + sub_chunk_5
Uploaded by thegioifilm09

OHOHOHOHO! PARRRRTYYY TIIMMMUUU!

i've always wanted to do one of these!

Mon, 06 Apr 2009 18:53:22 GMT

( ) = false
(x) = true

( ) I Never Have Been Drunk
( ) I Never Have Smoked Pot
(x) I Never Have Kissed (made out with)A Member Of The Opposite Sex
(x) I Never Have Kissed (made out with) A Member Of The Same Sex
(x) I Never Crashed A Friend's Car
( ) I Never Have Been To Japan
( ) I Never Rode In A Taxi
(x) I Never Had Anal Sex
(?) I Never Have Been In Love
(x) I Never Have Had Sex In Public
(x) I Never Have Been Dumped
( ) I Never Shoplifted
(x) I Never Have Been Fired
( ) I Never Been In A Fist Fight
( ) I Never Had A Threesome
( ) I Never Snuck Out Of My Parent's House
(x) I Never Have Been Tied Up
(x) I Never Have Been Caught Masturbating
(x) I Never Pissed On Myself
(x) I Never Had Sex With A Member Of The Same Sex
(x) I Never Been Arrested
( ) I Never Made Out With A Stranger
(x) I Never Stole Something From My Job
(x) I Never Celebrated New Years In Time Square
(x) I Never Went On A Blind Date
( ) I Never Lied To A Friend
( ) I Never Had A Crush On A Teacher
(x) I Never Celebrated Mardi-Gras In New Orleans
(x) I Never Been To Europe
( ) I Never Skipped School
(x) I Never Slept With A Co-Worker
(x) I Never Cut Myself On Purpose
(x) I Never Had Sex At The Office
(x) I Never Have Been Married
(x) I Never Have Been Divorced
( ) I Never Had Sex With More Than One Person Within The Same Week
( ) I Never Have Posed Nude
(x) I Never Got Someone Drunk Just To Have Sex With Them
(x) I Never Have Killed Anyone
(x) I Never Received Scars From My Sex Partner
(x) I Have Never Thrown Up In A Bar
(x) I Have Never Purposely Set A Part Of Myself On Fire
( ) I Have Never Eaten Sushi
( ) I Have Never Been Snowboarding
( ) I Have Never Had Sex At A Friend's House While They Were Throwing A Party
(x) I Have Never Had Sex In A Dressing Room
( ) I Have Never Flashed Anyone
( ) I Have Never Purchased Pornography

ughhh

Mon, 06 Apr 2009 17:33:07 GMT

I want to be real. Like when I post in here I want to post about the things I'm actually thinking about. people use to do that. I miss it. What's the point of even using this if I'm only using it as a tool to make people think a certain way about me. That's what I use it for now... Not communicating or even venting for myself. Its sad. I feel like I bottle everything up inside these days, and just talk shit about people behind their backs. And its like I can't stop. It feels like in Mean Girls where she talks about 'word vomit'. Obsessive word vomit and I can't stop.
I'm going to fail out of school today. I don't know how it happened. Oh I KNOW how it happened, (I didn't do any of the work and hardly ever showed up)... but i don't know WHY I let it happen... again, and again and again. I wish I could say it wasn't from a lack of trying. But that's not true. SO I tried a little yesterday. Big deal. I tried to do a whole semesters worth of work in one day, and I got a few assignments done. But I didn't even try to do the rest of them. Libby told me to start with the projects but I didn't listen. I'm soooo hardheaded and dumb. It would be one thing if the projects where done today. But they're not. And my printer wont work. my printer has never worked. I never installed it. I had my dad buy me a new printer some time ago so that I could do school work. But I never did any and I never even bothered to install it and now I'm paying the price.
I also wanted to go out last night. Ri called because Alice told him to. She was in the shower and they were gunna come pick me up to go to the Fond Fables show. I told them I had homework to do or I'd flunk out of school. but I didn't do the homework and I'm gunna flunk out and I didn't even get to go out and have fun. I just sat in a corner drinking beer by myself because I was overwhelmed. What the fuck is wrong with me?
I also don't know why I'm not more scared. I mean. I'm flunking out of school. I'm wasting $16,000 that I'm going to have to pay back. My mom says shes through with me if I fuck this up. I don't blame her. All i had to do was get C's in all my classes and she was gunna buy me a car. But nooooo. I'm a fuck up. I told her about the one class I dropped. And she was totally cool about it, said she would still get me the car if I got C's in the rest of them. But I'd actually dropped 2 classes. I didn't tell her about that. Actually I was suppose to drop the other class but I never got around to it because I'm an idiot. If I don't drop that class I'll fail out of school even if I do OK in the two classes I'm still taking. But I'm not doing OK in them. I am failing them too. And this was my last chance. The teacher gave me this chance and I fucked it up. I fuck up everything. And I don't know why. My grandma swears there's something wrong with me. Like I have Lyme Disease and its fucking with my brain and my ability to function well in society. Heh... I wish she was right. It'd be great to have an excuse. A reason why I'm such a fuck up other than I'm lazy. And ungrateful. Who knows? Maybe there is something wrong with me. I never meant to be this way. I never meant to be a 21 year old fuck up with no job, no high school diploma, no college degree, no ability to drive, no boyfriend, and still living at home. I wasn't suppose to be this way. I don't know what happened.
Bwahahaha! seriously, look at me right now. I have two hours before class, and I could be working on a project and e-mailing him what I did do. So he could see I did SOMETHING. But now here i am posting on livejournal. So some one will feel sorry for me. Or so people can know just how fucked up I am. I don't really know why I'm posting this. No one's gunna wanna read all this, and I don't blame them. I wouldn't wanna read all this about someone I hardly know. I wish someone wanted to read it. They wouldn't need to comment. I'd just want them to read it. And feel that I'm being real. And appreciate that, like really appreciate it. I dunno. I think i should re-add people I know in real life to my journal. Maybe make it un-private. I mean I only made it private in the first place to keep out a certain someone. But I don't care anymore. It's been years and I don't care anymore. I don't care if she stalks me online and talks about me behind my back and obsesses over me. I don't care anymore. You know, I haven't been on Piedmont ave. in 3 years because of her. It's just habit not to go there anymore. But I don't care anymore. I accidentally look at her picture online and i don't get a pain in my stomach. In fact it takes me a while to even realize who I'm looking at. I don't care anymore. I just don't. At least I wanna not care. But I've said it so many times just now, I'm not sure I believe myself anymore. FUCK YOU. Fuck you for doing this to me. Fuck me, for not being stronger. FUUUUCCCKKK.
I don't want to go to school in half an hour but I have to. Even though I didn't do any work maybe if I just show up there's some chance of something.
I wish this entry wasn't so long. I'm tempted to make it longer. I've got some shit to say. All that was not even what I meant to say. It just came out. Which I guess is a good thing. Its so long now. And so angst ridden. I never wanted to have an angst ridden journal. It makes me look stupid. But I guess I'm an angst ridden person. And what I wrote is the truth. And what I'm gunna write in the truth. And that's what matters.

sight is a beautiful thing

Wed, 25 Mar 2009 05:10:11 GMT

power went out on my whole block for an hour. i was eating food on my bed and watching X Men. within the fist 3 seconds of power outage i managed to get food all over my leg from vaulting over my bed to the door. in the first 30 seconds of power outage i managed to trip on the stairs and over a table before finding my way outside. its amazing how helpless i am without sight. all and all a fun experience. made me realize several things.

1. i spend most of my time very deep in the house. probably the deepest part furthest from all the exits, and sources of natural light.
2. if this had been 'The Big One' id be fucked! i am completely unprepared.
3. i have no idea were i keep my flashlight.
4. cigarettes are very important to me. more important than a cell phone or a flash light. (they are the first things i went and found...)
5. i enjoy excitement and look forward to meeting new people.
6. power outages don't really bring people together the way they use to :/
7. my father is useless in a crisis.
8. and also very stingy (i had to talk him into giving the next door lady with a baby a flashlight, she didn't have one...)
9. i use a whole lot of lights and electric objects all the time. for no apparent reason.

probably some other things too...

ooohhh!
10. i need to do my best to look good and be clean all the time. (if there had been a hot man to meet during this crisis i would have been the girl with a very bizarrely plucked pubic region, unshaved armpits and legs, wearing bear slippers an old sweater over a baby doll dress and pink pajama bottoms with food on them...) :/

this should't be so complicated

Tue, 17 Mar 2009 05:10:45 GMT

i need some dick in my life, seriously... wtf?
me right now:

amerigal life

Tue, 24 Feb 2009 20:48:40 GMT

i feel all happy today. its a legitimate day off for me soo i dont feel bad. and its not raining for a change, not like im outside. hehe! it feels like summer again, so ive un retired my summer beach bottle from last year!

(excuse my messy appearence i just woke up!XD )

today reminds me of this day

me and shuka-tan in the beach parking lot last year. i miss those days. i lurve you shuka-tan!<3 hehehehe!

bahhhh i seriously just wish the amerigal scene would take off. it could. there are sooo many people here into gyaru. but so few are willing to commit to it, for some reason. i guess the fear of being alone. its so depressing. or they feel like they don't have the resources or something, because they dont live in japan. or they live in a small town. or dont have enough money, or maybe their parents say no about make up or something. im so tired of all the excuses.

seriously, all it takes to get started is like some liquid eyeliner, mascara, foundation, chap stick, lip gloss, a light eyeshadow, hairspray, and some gumption. i know it sounds like a lot but you could probably pick it all up at your local drug store for like $30 maybe.

older gals on the net are totally willing to help you out with make technique, hair styling etc.. you just have to be willing to accept criticism. your probably not going to be the no. 1 amerigal over night, or even half way decent. but if you just keep being humble and keep trying and listening to their corrections, you will be accepted. and then find a circle and maybe get girls in your own neighborhood into it.

gggrrrr.... i don't know. i just wish there was something to be done to help people and encourage them to join in and commit to the amerigal scene. like so they wouldn't be afraid to ask for help. like i bet there are some really great gals out there we don't even know about because they are just lurking and too afraid to post. i still feel weird about posting in gal communities and i've hung out in person with some of the best amerigals on the scene.

it feels like the road to becoming gal here in the states is all up hill and lonely. its sooo hard. like you have to figure everything out yourself through lots of research and trial and error. it doesn't have to be that way. the rest of the gal community should be behind you giving you the info you need. i just feel like we need more organization. like a beginning gal community that's not there to show off your gal style. but a place to learn and get info and help from older/more experienced gals, and then maybe you could graduate from that community and into a circle. and also a community with a listing of all the amerigal circles and who's in them and the areas they live in, and the gal resources in that area.

i should probably have some gumption myself and start these communities. im just such a ditz with computers, and im not the best gal myself heehehe! id be afraid they'd fail.. what do you guys think?

sweet success!

Sun, 22 Feb 2009 19:09:43 GMT

now i just have to make them interesting and cute!